Thread: Another ADD vent--sorry, long

My son is in 6th grade this year. He was diagnosed with ADD in the middle of 2nd grade. He doesn't have the hyperactivity of ADHD, just the inattentiveness. He's tried several different medications but is limited on what he can take because he can't swallow pills. Right now he is on the Daytrana patch. Up through 4th grade he and his teachers were able to deal with it. His grades were good, he got awards for his good grades. He'd never gotten a detention and he always did well on his achievement testing. Starting last year in 5th grade everything changed. His grades plummeted, he was getting detentions for incomplete or missing homework and he did very poorly on his achievement testing. In our school, last year was the first year that 5th and 6th grades were considered middle school, up until last year they were both still considered elementary. I don't know if that has anything to do with this or not, but his teachers, to me, seemed unwilling to cooperate with him in getting his work done, but all too willing to hand out detentions. I've talked numerous times with the elementary principal, who is in charge of IEP's and 504 Plans. He said that since Ryan did so well in his work all the previous years that they couldn't put him on any kind of IEP or 504 Plan because it wouldn't look right to the state. Well, there's a REASON he's doing so poorly, but no one can figure out why. A little over a month ago I took him to see a therapist on the recommendation of his family doctor and the school psychologist who worked with him last school year. To me, the lady he's seeing isn't any more qualified to work with him than I am, but she's trying to maybe find something that no one else is seeing. In a couple weeks he has an appointment with a psychologist or psych (I'm not really sure which, nor do I know the difference). I'm at the end of my rope, trying to figure out what's going on with him. I don't know of anything else to try. I'm sick and tired of people asking me if we've tried punishment, like he's just deciding NOT to do his work. We've tried rewards, punishments, early bedtime, taking things away, anything we can think of but nothing is helping. Then today after school I get this e-mail from his reading teacher:

I just want to let you know that Xxxx has me for 3rd period reading. When he left
my room today, he was not finished with his test and I told him he could come back
9th period and finish it. The only parts he did not finish were the short answer
and the essay (he did not even start these two sections). He had the rest of the
test done. Xxxx came back 9th period to work on his test. At the end of the period
he handed in his test and these two pages were still completely empty. I am
extremely frustrated because legally I do not have to give him more time than the
rest of the students to complete his test. I did this out of the kindness of my
heart, and he sat there for 40 min and didn't write a single word. What upsets me
even more, is that I know Xxxx is capable of completing this task. Last year if I
would have told him that he couldn't go to his special the next period until he
wrote, he would get the assignment done within a few minutes. In my opinion, he is
choosing to NOT do the work. I have no choice but to put the F in my gradebook. I
absolutely hate doing that, but I feel that I went out of my way to help him, and he
in a sense slapped me in the face. Again, I am not here to fail him. I want to do
what I can to make him successful. I don't know what else could have been done
today to help him finish that test. If you have any questions, please let me know.

Mrs. Xxxxxx

I am at a total loss and don't know where to go from here. Since the medication doesn't really seem to be doing anything anyway, I'm tempted to just take him off it. It suppresses his appetite and he's just a little thing anyway, he can't afford to not eat. Also, it completely alters his demeanor, making him quieter than he normally is, and totally unlike himself. I need help but so far no one I have reached out to has been able to offer me anything that helps. I don't want to give up on him, but I get so frustrated with the notes home all the time, the detentions, unfinished homework, bad grades and on and on. I just don't know what to do! I cry myself to sleep every night because I feel so helpless. I'm his mom and am supposed to be able to help him.

By any chance does he understand the work to easy? My son when he was in elementary school stopped doing his work. The teacher knew he could do it, but she thought maybe he was getting bored because it was to easy for him to do. So he sat there and did little to nothing. They had a special class that met once a week for the gifted kids. Once he started going to that he started doing his work. Later we found out he had ADD and he did take Ritalin, about the only thing that was available back then. But we didn't like the side effects of the ritalin so we stopped it.
My daughter had ADHD in school same thing with medicine stopped having her use it also. When she was in high school a IEP was done on her and plan worked out for her. Now we are going back to the early 90's with my son and my daughter it was the late 90's I think for her. So I'm sure things have changed alot with schools.

A Psychologist would work to check to see if there is something physically wrong with your son. I am talking hormones, chemical imbalances, those sort of things could just be out of whack. It could be something as simple as needing to take an extra vitamin or eat a banana everyday or perhaps he is entering a slightly premature puberty. That is what the physcholoist would be able to help with. It could be the medication he is taking is working against his body.
A Phychrist (sp?) would work with him to see if there is something that is bothering him emotionally. Is there any chance he is being bullied at school?
Sending hopeful hugs your way.

Ask the psychologist for an educational evaluation. Get a private one done compared to any that school may have done. Explain to them about how his grades were fine until this year. It could be the work is too easy or too hard. The teachers may not be explaining it the way your son understands it either.

The school can put a 504 or and IEP in place for your son regardless of what the school says. You may want to look into getting an advocate for your son. This person would fight with the school and make the school help your son. Your son has a disability according to his diagnosis. The advocate could use the law American with disablilties act against the school for not doing everything in their power to help and aide your child.


I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's a tough road, but stay strong and remember your child will love you for being their for him when no one else would listen.

Originally Posted by prcsanglas

The school can put a 504 or and IEP in place for your son regardless of what the school says. You may want to look into getting an advocate for your son. This person would fight with the school and make the school help your son. Your son has a disability according to his diagnosis. The advocate could use the law American with disablilties act against the school for not doing everything in their power to help and aide your child.

How would I go about getting an advocate for him? Also, does the Americans with Disabilities act cover kids in school too, or just people on the job?

I used this website to find our advocate:
http://wrightslaw.com/

If you have a local ARC (association of retarded citizens) they can help you and have advocates there. You will need and educational advocate.

Slance68 is correct is covers everyone.

Some schools just don't want to do what they can for kids. The school could provide the child with an aid, but I'm not sure the child would like that as he is in 6th grade.

Good luck and feel free to message me if you need any help. We went through a bunch of crap with our district last year and this are dratisically different this year with an advocate in the picture.

What tramatic thing happened in his life since 4th grade? Is what you need to figure out, and when the drug changes may coincide with them.
Tramatic for him could be, these are just examples:
Mom & Dad split, or divorce.
Pet goldfish died.
Friend moved.
No stability? No schedules?

What little you've said he doesn't seem to be violent at all, shy, meek, and getting meeker, could be reactions to the meds, and any addiditive, or reaction from a certain food with the meds. (meds and foods could be discussed with druggest - for reactions) also seems he could be depressed, too.

my dd is like that in school she would do some work but other times not so much teachers would yell at her making everything worse
we tried almost everything
we did take her to a doctor but he said that shwas acting wee is fine nothing bad happened but said try using positive rewards or somthing like that it worked great
so anytime she would act out we had to ignore her and when she well we rewarded her

but other then that i can not offer any thing elese