Thread: Caring for a sick Mom

After my Mom came back from my brothers she discovered she had no cash ($150K missing she estimates) and she was missing her engagement ring from her first marriage. The ring was to go to her great grand daughter. They have not seen or spoken to her until her B'day, June 1st, when this unemplyed bum called to say he would visit on saturday. They came and she laid into him asking if he brought her money with. He started laughing and smiling. I was not there but my oldest sis, who was very close to my brother until april of this year told me. As I went to hand them the bonds they conned my mom into buying for them, she snatched them back along with a bank book that she made them beneficiaries of while she was there. He said we had no right to accuse him. I told him, it may not have been him. It could have been his wife, her adult kids or their friends. Fact is she went with it and came home without it.Then his wife chimed in and from then on it was all lies, lies and more lies. I was very upset because of her crying broke when she was not. My brother then called our older brother to start crap. But I stopped that immediately. Brother bum, called our sis and said to tell mom that if he does not get the bonds and bank book he would not attend her funeral. My sis refused. He also gave her crap because my mom opted out of further treatment when we learned the cancer had spread to her liver, bones and brain. But I may make the funeral by invitation only and not invite him. I am still torn about it.

She has been seeing people and animals that are not there. One of the people she sees, frightens her and she tries to get away by pushing herself into her bed and pillows. She has conversations with people but I only hear one side. I heard today she said, not now Zollie, maybe later. Zollie was my dad who died in 1968. Lots of beach fun with her friends. She spent lots of time at the beach as a young girl and woman. The odd thing is, last week there was sand in her room around her bed. I am looking for my digital recorder so I can tape her conversations and maybe discover she is talking to those who have passed. Lots of wild things going on. They always did. But this is much more than what we are used to.

Me

Still deciding if I am going to file charges against them for taking advantage of the elderly.

No words for what you are going thru :

Originally Posted by pepperpot

Love it ....

Oh hun you have my deepest sympathy. If she is planning to change her will you need to get on that ASAP. Her seeing visions is not a good sign.
It will be very difficult to prosecute your brother on theft charges if your Mom passes without her making a statement.
Thinking of you.

I am feeling such sympathy for you right now as it appears that the end is not far off for your mother. Sunniekiss is right that she needs to change that beneficiary right now while she is still able.

We have had the week from hell with regard to my FIL. My husband does everything for him as his brother and their dad are estranged. Over a week ago, the power went off in the middle of the night at my FIL's house. He woke up, was disoriented, stumbled around and then fell. Other than being rather banged up, he seemed to be okay. He called my hubby the next day and told him. But, on Monday last week, he fell again and was alone in the house for hours, unable to get up. Hubby's cousin, Michael, lives with my FIL and he found him when he got home from work at 2:30. My FIL was all bruised and bloody from being on the floor...his arms, elbows, knees, legs and feet horribly rug-burned form trying to get from one room to the other.

FIL was admitted to the hospital. Thank God, there was no evidence of a stroke or heart attack, but he is now so weak that he was moved to a rehab/nursing facility this past Saturday. (That's another long story...but I won't get into it.) He has been told repeatedly that he will be there for at least 2 weeks and won't get out until he is capable of getting around by himself with his walker. Honestly, his doctors don't think he should return to his home at all, but should instead move to an assisted living facility...but we haven't even gotten into that yet.

Yesterday afternoon, he got moved into a semi-private room (he was in a 4-person room before) and everything was set up very nicely for him. He called my hubby at 9:30 last night all confused demandingg that Bob come and get him and take him home. He kept saying that they've moved him to another place and that he won't get his PT in this new place...etc...etc...on and on. Bob tried to explain that he was just moved down the hall, etc and that he couldn't be there until today. FIL finally shut up and said, "Fine...you know when you need to be here!!!"

I was in Chicago all week at a seminar and hubby is just so exhausted from dealing with all this stuff with his dad. We live about 45 minutes away from his dad and Bob has to deal with LA traffic driving in and home every day. It's just too much. I expect him to crash pretty soon.

And yesterday...we had painters at our house. We had scheduled this over 6 weeks ago and didn't want to reschedule. So, I had to take off work (which was suppose to be my first day back) and deal with the painters. But...they did a great job so now we have to put everything back together as we are having a big year-end BBQ for our church music ministry at our house next weekend.

I need to go to Boston in July for business and we were planning that Bob would join me and we would make it a long weekend. I hope now that it can happen, but I'm not sure.

Kelsey sorry to hear about your FIL. My Mom should be using a cane but refuses. She is going to fall one day soon herself. This is a woman who has already had 3 back surgeries & 2 hip replacements.

My FIL was doing well with his walker before the fall. He got himself up everyday, showered and dressed and made himself a simple breakfast and lunch. His nephew, Michael, would then get home from work and he would prepare dinner, do laundry...stuff like that. Praise God, FIL didn't break anything in his fall. But, he has lost all strength in his legs (thus the PT) and his refusal to eat isn't helping.

Yesterday, hubby got there in the afternoon and laid down the law. I was so proud of him. He told his father flat out that if he didn't cooperate, then Bob would spent the next couple of weeks finding the appropriate nursing home for his dad. One of the other problems is that FIL's doctors are really questioning the wisdom of sending FIL home. At the bare minimum, his home needs to be modified to include rails, a ramp, step-in bathtub, etc. Because of my FIL's excellent insurance (over and above Medicare)...the cost of labor is covered, but FIL just needs to pay for supplies and materials. He has refused the modifications in the past because, "They are ripping him off and he could do a better job himself." The fact of the matter is that, in his day, he probably could have done it all himself. But he is no longer able to do it and he just needs to shut up and get over it. Bob told him that as well. His doctors have already told us that they will NOT release him to go home unless the modifications are made. And they need to be done BEFORE he goes home. So, there is no way he will be able to monitor the work himself.

When Bob told his dad, all he could do is huff and puff and mutter to himself...LOL.

I am so sorry for your loss. (((hblueeyes)))