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just need to vent some things
hi i know i hardly post here but im sitting here on the verge of crying and really just need to get this out. im in the process of getting a divorce from my husband. he has left our home with my son and gone to New Jersey to stay with his family. it doesnt bother me at all that my husband is gone, i cant take his lies or his dictatorship anymore. the fact that my son isnt here hurts so badly. i've stayed strong thus far though. trying to make a joke out of everything. he left me with no car, and little money(only $25, which is gone now, he been gone for a week). i got my light bill in and he didnt even pay the whole thing last time he made a payment(im a sahm he was the one who worked) so now i have a disconnect notice. im stuck in ohio, in a small town with no way to get anywhere to get a decent job so i can get custody of my child, whom i want with me badly. my husband is in NJ telling his parents how evil i am, when in reality he is the one who needs help. he lies constantly telling me things and for 6 years i was buying into it. how could i have been so stupid? so obilvious to how he really is. im scared at what he will do when he comes back, will he bring me back my child? i feel so alone right now and its like no one understands how i feel. im trying to hide my emotions cuz i dont like people pittying me. im just so scared and feel so alone. im scared that i will never get to see my beautiful baby boy ever again, i got to talk to him for only 2 minutes since he has been gone(which has been a week as of today), then his father took the phone from him. sorry for all the rambling here. i just need some advice on child custody and things like that because i know im in for a hell of a battle with this one. his parents have the money to take my child from me, i have nothing. no job no car no money, NOTHING. well now the tears are falling so fast i can hardly read what im typing so im going to wrap this up now. thank you for just reading this.
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01-23-2004 02:53 PM
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(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) I am sorry for all that you are going through.
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Registered User
Does he have custody of your son? If he does, does he have to have your permission to take him out of state? Maybe you can get some sort of legal aid to get help with the legal aspects of what you need to do and work custody and visitation rights. I think they are based on your income. Or in general just consult an attorney, most don't charge of an initial consultation.
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right now there is no set custody, we arent divorced or legally seperated. i just want my son back here with me. i carried him for 9+ months,i woke up with him for those late night feedings, i've stayed home with him for 2+years. i was the one who was there when he was sick, all the drs visits and everything. it was me, and he's taking that from me, the only thing in my life that i truly love is about to be gone.
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lilo, hang in there. I know right now you feel no hope but it is very hard to take a child away from his mother without proof of some kind of neglect or something like that. You will probably get your son and child support and perhaps spousal support until you can find a job to help support the both of you. Get some legal advice, sweetie. It isn't all lost. A judge would take into consideration what is best for the child and most people believe that a child does better with their mother unless there is some problems. Don't despair.
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I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong, but this is what I think:
Go to domestic relations (or whatever it is in Ohio) and file for custody. If you file first, and are granted custody, he will have to return your child or he will be in contempt of a court order.
My cousin had to do this (this is in PA though, I am ONLY assuming it is like this in Ohio) They only lived in Ohio for a week when he kicked her out, she came back here, went to DR and filed for custody and child support. He had to return their son to her. She was only without him for a few days before she got him back.
I would go to the courthouse in your town and find out what to do.
You can also get a courtorder about crossing state lines too without permission.
Good luck to you, I cannot even imagine the heartache you are feeling without your son.
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I would do exactly what magenta suggested. I cannot imagine not seeing my kiddos for that long. I would be at the court house on Monday morning. Get your son back ASAP! I would worry that the soon to be ex will hide your child. Get the courts involved immediately. (((Hugs))) Let us know how you're doing. We are a caring bunch, and many of us have gone through the same thing. No pity, just support.
(((More hugs)))
Me and my little boys will be BLACK BELTS in 2007!
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Also, call Social Services and let them know that your husband has abandoned you and you have no money or a job. Let them direct you to whatever help you can get for free. You can probably get a lawyer pro bono as well. Call a friend and get a ride to your local welfare office.
You are going to need all the help you can get and if you don't start making the effort now, he will have the upper hand.
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.
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Yes go to DRS and file for custody first thing monday morning!!!! Usually the first one who files, get the custody. I too am in PA and here, if a parent wants to take the child to another state to live, the other parent can contest it where or not they have full custody. Check with your state on that. Hugsss to you...
A wise man once said - if given enough rope, one will eventually hang themself
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I Say Hey Ya'll & Yeehaw
I am sorry for what you are going thru-Sending you prayers and hugs
If you want to talk p.m. me or e-mail me [email protected]
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