Thread: Joke of the day!

21 Dumbest Customers Ever...

22. I'm at work, wearing my work shirt with the store name and logo on it, and a jacket, with the store name and logo on it. I'm standing in the aisle with a huge work cart, putting items on the shelf. Never fails.......someone walks up to me and asks ''Do you work here?"
(No, I was bored sitting at home all day, so I thought I'd come in here and help out these people! *smh* ).

23. I'm out shopping one day in a clothing store........I have my winter coat on, and pocket book over my shoulder. A woman walks up to me and starts asking me about something she wants to purchase. I said "I don't work here." She says "Oh, you look like you work in retail."
(WTH??? What exactly does someone in retail ''look'' like??")

24. A woman comes through my line the other day and slides her card through the machine and asks how to pay with credit.
I say "we only take debit."
"I can't pay with credit?"
"Debit only"
"I have to use debit?"
"Yes"
"You don't take credit?"
"No, just debit"
"So I can't use credit?"
(this went on for a good minute or so, before she decided to pay with cash).

During the 3-1/2 years of World War 2 that started with the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor in December 1941 and ended with the Surrender of Germany and Japan in 1945, the U.S. produced:
22 aircraft carriers, 8 battleships, 48 cruisers, 349 destroyers, 420 destroyer escorts, 203 submarines, 34 million tons of merchant ships, 100,000 fighter aircraft, 98,000 bombers, 24,000 transport aircraft, 58,000 training aircraft, 93,000 tanks, 257,000 artillery pieces, 105,000 mortars, 3,000,000 machine guns, and 2,500,000 military trucks. We put 16.1 million men in uniform in the various armed services, invaded Africa, invaded Sicily and Italy, won the battle for the Atlantic, planned and executed D-Day, marched across the Pacific and Europe, developed the atomic bomb, and ultimately conquered Japan and Germany.

It's worth noting that during the almost exact amount of time, the Obama administration couldn't build a web site.

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2015/...-test-answers/

Last week, Ethel checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely.

She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."
She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Ralph a very handsome man with assorted physical skills, flexing in the photo.He had all the right muscles in all the right places. She figured, "What the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call."

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?"

Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in,"Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"

He said,"That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line..

Subject: Missing Persons Bureau - Missing Wife

A husband went to the police station to report his missing wife:

Husband : "I've lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home."

Sergeant : "What is her height?"

Husband : "Oh, 5 something, maybe 5.5."

Sergeant : "Build?"

Husband : "Not slim, not really fat, but could lose a few."

Sergeant : "Color of eyes?"

Husband : "Dark. Not sure - maybe Brown."

Sergeant : "Color of hair?"

Husband : "Changes according to season - lightish brown now."

Sergeant : "What was she wearing?"

Husband : "I don't remember exactly but she wears jeans a lot."

Sergeant : "Did she go in a car?"

Husband : "yes."

Sergeant : "What kind of car was it?"

Husband : "2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP. 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and Black leather GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door near the......."

At this point the husband started crying...

Sergeant : "Don't worry sir.......We'll find your car."

(hell, I'd wanna find that car too!! )

INTERESTING OBSERVATION:

1.
The sport of
choice for the
urban poor is
BASKETBALL.


2.
The sport of
choice for
maintenance
level
employees is
BOWLING.


3.
The sport of
choice for
front-line
workers is
FOOTBALL.


4.
The sport of
choice for
supervisors is
BASEBALL.


5.
The sport of
choice for
middle
management is
TENNIS.


And...


6.
The sport of
choice for
corporate
executives and
officers is
GOLF.


THE
amazing facts
are,

The
higher you go
in the
corporate
structure, the
smaller your
balls become.


There
must be a boat
load of people
in Washington
playing
marbles.

When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor.
So I took the entrance exam to go to medical school.

One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters
PNEIS into the name of an important human body part
which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered spine are doctors today.

The rest of us are sending jokes via email.