Help me work though this with your opinions......

**MsLynn** · 01-13-2011, 12:34 PM

Ok, we all know me as the Terminally Single, Single mother... Well i've finally quit running and started seeing someone, and as of now, its been almost 7 months. well night before last, he asked me if my son and i would move in with him when the school year was over...

now, i've been on my own for almost 13 years now.. he's 46 and never been married and never really had a serious relationship.... so he's never really lived with anyone.... so i'm afraid that us just up and moving in will have an adverse effect on him, with there suddenly being one there ALL THE TIME....

My son sat down last night and made a list of pros/cons (not bad for a 10 year old) lol,and he came up with more pro's than con's, but it'll mean moving over 80 miles. I can still keep my full time job here, and 2 of my part times, if my hrs are right after i get off from the full time.....

can ya tell i'm confused... lol..... been thinking to much and now my head hurts, lol

**Advertisement** · 01-13-2011 12:34 PM

***DAVESBABYDOLL*** · 01-13-2011, 01:05 PM

Well, how do YOU feel about him? Do you love him? If you don't, I wouldn't uproot my life for liking someone alot. Does your son like him ? Get along? Does he have a job? Does he love you....and can you tell?

**MsLynn** · 01-13-2011, 01:07 PM

my son thinks he's awesome... he always tells me he loves me... and as damaged as i am, i think i love him to the extent that i can... yes he owns a ranch, and his family owns a trucking company and a bowling alley... he's great to me and Luke.....I guess i'm just more afraid that he's "settling" for me.

***DAVESBABYDOLL*** · 01-13-2011, 01:16 PM

I just went through what you are going through. I've been happily living with someone since June. Like you, I felt (still feel it sometimes) damaged because of my marraige. I'm guessing that it's not only a trust issue on your part but also a " how can this man love ME..me of all people, whats so good about me to love" It took me being able to forgive my ex before I could move on. Forgiveness isn't about who you are forgiving, it's about YOU being able to move past it, to knock a few walls down, to LET someone love you. If you let yourself forgive your past demons and let yourself love someone, you will truely know the meaning of happiness. He's not settling Lynn, he just waited this long to find you.

**Breezin** · 01-13-2011, 01:16 PM

That's really wonderful, I'm so happy for you

I would really say you have to follow your heart on this one.

Is he good to you? is he good to your son? is your son ok with going?

Sounds like yes, yes, yes!

**freeby4me** · 01-13-2011, 01:18 PM

80 miles is a long way, how can you keep your job?
What about a "trial run" of you guys moving there but keeping your place for a few months just to see how everything goes first?

***3lilpigs*** · 01-13-2011, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by freeby4me

80 miles is a long way, how can you keep your job?
What about a "trial run" of you guys moving there but keeping your place for a few months just to see how everything goes first?

I agree. 80 miles is TOO FAR to drive.

Is there a way he can move in with you? That way if things don't work out, HE'S the one who will have to leave.

**MsLynn** · 01-13-2011, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by DAVESBABYDOLL

I just went through what you are going through. I've been happily living with someone since June. Like you, I felt (still feel it sometimes) damaged because of my marraige. I'm guessing that it's not only a trust issue on your part but also a " how can this man love ME..me of all people, whats so good about me to love" It took me being able to forgive my ex before I could move on. Forgiveness isn't about who you are forgiving, it's about YOU being able to move past it, to knock a few walls down, to LET someone love you. If you let yourself forgive your past demons and let yourself love someone, you will truely know the meaning of happiness. He's not settling Lynn, he just waited this long to find you.

I really don't think i have any unresolved issues with my ex... its just that everyone has always left... and i don't want Luke to have to go through that... and i don't want to again. but even my family has always told me i'm never good enough, just not sure why, this time scares me so much...

Originally Posted by freeby4me

80 miles is a long way, how can you keep your job?
What about a "trial run" of you guys moving there but keeping your place for a few months just to see how everything goes first?

well with my full time i only work 10 days a month.. so it wouldn't be much worse than the 20 something i drive almost everyday now... so if they schedule my part time hrs the mornings i get off from my full time it won't be that bad.

Originally Posted by 3lilpigs

I agree. 80 miles is TOO FAR to drive.

Is there a way he can move in with you? That way if things don't work out, HE'S the one who will have to leave.

his ranch is completely bought/paid for... i'm renting... so it works out better for me... and i have no problems with the commute...

THANKS YA'LL... I really appreciate your input.

**dinosmom** · 01-13-2011, 02:08 PM

I just wanted to say good luck. I know how hard this is!

HUGS

**jasmine** · 01-13-2011, 05:06 PM

Hopefully since he is 46 is mature for a man.... Sounds like he is since he has his own place and all. The only thing I would be conserned about is that he has never been in a relationship/married like you mentioned. Being single and being able to come and go as you please all you life, then settling down takes some real adjustment. Or perhaps he is just one of those men that are truely ready for a steady permanent woman in his life.
I am glad your son likes him. I hope you and your boyfriend have a real heart to heart before you move in.
Good luck, wishing only the best.
After having everything your way for so long, it will be a huge change for you also.

Love is grand, when you find it, grab on with both hands and don't let go.

**dv8grl** · 01-13-2011, 05:16 PM

Do you and your son ever stay over at his place?
I think for the time being you guys should do that., like others said have trial runs & see if its something that he and you can handle.
It's hard living with someone when you've lived alone for a long time.
So maybe you & your son staying the weekend at his place for awhile would be good to see if you all can live together.

And don't listen to your family, always trying to bring you down! You are GOOD ENOUGH!!!!! He definately seems to think so. Your son thinks so. So PHOOEY on what your family says!!!!!

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