Thread: Well, sometimes they bring it on themselves.......

Subject: Kohl's shopping trip

(This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't make
this stuff up! Oh, for those of you who don't know: Kohl's is a nice
department store.)

Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down a
at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit...no flies, no
smell. What business could that poor kitty have had here?' murmured
Ellen.'Come on, Ellen, let's just go.. 'But Ellen had already grabbed her
shopping bag and was explaining, 'I'll just put my things in your bag, and
then I'll use this tissue.' She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and
then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her
own Kohl's bag and cover it.

They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in
the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial
bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina
would soon lose that new-car smell.

They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to
Luby's Cafeteria. They went through the serving line and they sat down at a
window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's bag still on
the trunk. BUT not for long!

As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their
car. She looked quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag
without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision.

Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all
happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. 'Can you
imagine?' finally sputtered Ellen. 'The nerve of that woman!'

Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought
about the grand surprise awaiting the female thief. Just when she thought
she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the
direction of the serving line.

Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with
The Kohl's bag hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray
toward the cashier. Helplessly they watched the scene unfold. After
leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put
the bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites of baked
whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to
survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to
notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper
and peered into the bag.

Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise
grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and
clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a
customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered
the Heimlich maneuver.

A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained
riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived.

In a matter of minutes, the woman with the red gingham shirt emerged from
the crowd, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney. Two
well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a
third scooped up her belongings.

The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared
behind the ambulance doors.................the Kohl's Bag perched on her stomach!!

God does take care of those who do bad things! (AND once in a while...He allows us to watch.

It's still a funny story.

Now I am wondering about the story of the pregnant woman who took her urine sample to the doctor and couldn't find anything to put it in but a little whiskey bottle. She stopped at the store on the way and when she came back to her car it had been stolen. She was laughing so hard a woman in another car thought she needed help. She told her what happened and they both had a good laugh. The thief had a bad surprise. LOL

Probably not true either but funny. HEEHEE

really don't care if they are urban legend or not~~ there still cute!

LOL They are both funny and gave me a good laugh!!