Thread: Hey, Shirl

Originally Posted by nanajoanie

Thanks for telling everyone about you. Some have asked me about you but it wasn't my place to tell anyone anything except your are an absolute Angel and a very treasured friend.

Originally Posted by lymi

Thank you very much for all the info. Everyone here has really come to love you, so I feel we all enjoyed reading your story. I am so sorry for all your hard times.. I figured since it is such a tourist attraction, it would be expensive to live there. I also have a fear of flying. I am sorry about your in laws health. Sounds like you are a wonderful daughter inlaw. here is to another jewel in your crown. and you sound like the type of person that wouldnt have it any other way. Some people are caregivers by nature. I took care of my mom for a few years with no help from my brother. Yet when she died, he was there letting people tell him how well she was taken care of and taking credit. Also messed me over for some of the inheritance. But, you know what????/ I would have rather had my mom back. I took what I did, and didn't fight him none. Family is more important than things. but I got off the subject. Sorry. I am glad your husband is doing better. I hope things go well for ya'll

I took care of my mother-in-law too until she passed. I know what you mean about family. I have a sister-in-law on this island and she never comes to see her own Dad. When my mother-in-law was so sick she told us not to tell my sister-in-law. They didn't get along because Debbie is a total bitch! When Mom was down to her last few days I asked my husband to call his sister. Debbie never believed Mom was really sick. Thought she just wanted attention. By this time Mom was on morphine patches and almost in a coma like state. She couldn't wake up or talk. I felt that if Debbie didn't get a chance to say goodbye it would haunt her forever. So Debbie comes over and tries to make it like she had been caring for Mom all those years. She wasn't fooling anyone. Mom considered me her daughter more then Debbie and I think that drove Debbie nuts. Dad was still fine at the time Mom was dying so he took care of her in the daytime and I was still working and took care of her at night. I'd come home and fix Randy dinner and then go up and get in bed with Mom. I'd brush her hair or we would just talk. She was a wonderful lady and I loved her like a Mother. I also have a brother-in-law who lives in Germany who didn't even come for the funeral. After Mom died Debbie moved in with Dad and started wearing Mom's clothes. I told her flat out I didn't like that. Too creepy. If she wanted to be close to her Mom she should have done it while she was alive. Now she never comes to see Dad. No birthday card, Christmas or any holiday card. And get this! She lives in Poipu which is about 20 minutes away. She only stayed a couple of weeks after Mom died and then went back to her selfish life. Can you tell I have no respect for this person? I know once Dad dies she will do the same act again. I also know she will swoop down like a vulture and try and take whatever she wants. Mom has a beautiful crystal collection and angel collection. Dad is always telling me to take what I want but I keep telling him it's just more to dust and my house is to small. Mom also has a beautiful silver serving collection and I know Deb is dying to get her hands on that. Mom also has a beautiful crystal chandalier that she paid two thousand five hundred dollars for hanging over the dining room table. It's nice but I'm not into stuff like that. But Debbie can't take anything until it's all been appraised but I wouldn't put it past her to try. Sorry to sound so negative but she isn't a nice person and I don't like her. Even Randy her own brother can't stand her. Now my brother-in-law who lives in Germany and my sister-in-law are like two peas in a pod. Don't care about anyone but themselves. I guess I do have a mean streak because Mom had a roll top desk that her sister had given her when she was in high school. It is an antique. It was painted an ugly white so I took it out of the house and sanded it down and put a beautiful dark wood stain on it. Mom was still alive when I did this and it took me several weeks to finish. Has lot's of small places that were hard to get too when sanding. It turned out so nice. It has the big claw feet on it. Mom loved it and so did Debbie. Mom told her I get it when she dies and Debbie had a fit! She wanted to know why I should have it and not her. Mom told her I was more of a daughter to her and I did all the work on it. It's still up at Dad's house because he uses it. Debbie was livid! I thought it was funny If that makes me a bad person so be it! When Mom died Dad took her jewelery out and told Deb and I to take want we wanted. Deb wanted it all but the only thing I wanted was a small angel pin that Mom wore on her blouse. It wasn't expensive but just reminded me of her so I took that. Once again Deb had a fit. Did I mention she is almost 60 years old? Her whole life has been about me, me, me! Brother-in-law too. Have no use for either one of them. Sorry this is so long!

Shirl, you're truly a great person and by reading that it definitely proves it. I hate people that are all about themselves... seriously, don't ever move to vegas unless that's the people you want to be around. it's so sad. I could never imagine doing that to my family. how sweet of you to put them first, it's obvious they could see what a great person you are and Debbie should be ashamed of herself acting that way.

Originally Posted by netsis61

. Bless you for being such a great daughter. I take care of my mom too and I totally understand about how horrible siblings can be. I have to deal with a the same additude. I have to protect my mom from my other siblings as they take advantage of her. The last time my brother visited her he downloaded a adult movie on her T.V. and stuck her with the bill which I ended up paying as she doesn't have the money. I then put a blck on her t.v. so he couldn't do it again.
I read your post about where you live and thought it was so great to get know you more. Do you have any idea yet where you plan to settle once you come back to the mianland?

We don't know where we will be going. Don't want to move back to California. We checked out Vegas when we were there but it's not for us. We don't like cold weather or snow so we don't have a lot of options. I'd love to move to Utah to be near my son and his wife. I love her like she's my own but they get that nasty cold weather. So we really don't know. But it could still be years before Dad passes on and we promised him we would let him die in his own home or the hospital if needed here on the island. Mom had hospice so she died at home. That's what Dad wants to do also. So we just take it one day at a time.

It is good to get to know each other better. I know I am not alone in the family thing. I like you sharing. It can be so frustrating. but I can live with myself knowing I did the right thing. I hope that if it ever comes to it, my kids will do the same for me. My mom felt like she was such a problem to me. I tried to convince her it was ok. But I can imangine how she felt. I miss her so much. I miss dad too.

Originally Posted by lymi

It is good to get to know each other better. I know I am not alone in the family thing. I like you sharing. It can be so frustrating. but I can live with myself knowing I did the right thing. I hope that if it ever comes to it, my kids will do the same for me. My mom felt like she was such a problem to me. I tried to convince her it was ok. But I can imangine how she felt. I miss her so much. I miss dad too.