Thread: Entitlement Generation

NJ student's feud with her parents headed to court
AP 1 hr ago | By Associated Press



MORRISTOWN, N.J. (AP) — A northern New Jersey honor student who says her parents kicked her out of the house when she turned 18 is now suing them, asking a court to make them support her and pay for her college.

A judge in Morristown has scheduled a hearing Tuesday in the lawsuit filed last week by Rachel Canning. Court documents show frequent causes of parent-teenage tension — boyfriends and alcohol — taken to an extreme. In court filings, there are accusations and denials, but one thing is clear: the girl left home Oct. 30, two days before she turned 18 after a tumultuous stretch during which her parents separated and reconciled and the teen began getting into uncharacteristic trouble at school.

In court filings, Canning's parents, retired Lincoln Park police Chief Sean Canning and his wife Elizabeth, said their daughter voluntarily left home because she didn't want to abide by reasonable household rules, such as being respectful, keeping a curfew, doing a few chores and ending a relationship with a boyfriend her parents say is a bad influence. They say that shortly before she turned 18, she told her parents that she would be an adult and could do whatever she wanted.

She said her parents are abusive, contributed to an eating disorder she developed and pushed her to get a basketball scholarship. They say they were supportive, helped her through the eating disorder and paid for her to go to a private school where she would not get as much playing time in basketball as she would have at a public school.

They also say she lied in her court filing and to child welfare workers who are involved in the case.

She's been living in Rockaway Township with the family of her best friend. The friend's father, former Morris County Freeholder John Inglesino, is funding the lawsuit.

Inglesino told the The Daily Record of Parsippany (http://dailyre.co/1dWJQvP ) that he and his wife decided to pay for the lawsuit because they fear Canning will lose opportunities for a strong education and a happy future without her parents' contributions.

A cheerleader and lacrosse player who hopes to become a biomedical engineer, Canning is seeking immediate financial support and wants to force her parents to pay for her college education and more than $5,000 owed for her last semester at Morris Catholic High School. She also wants a judge to declare that she's non-emancipated and dependent as a student on her parents for support.

http://news.msn.com/us/nj-pupil-says...ocid=ansnews11

Rachel Canning Sues Parents to Make Them Cover Her School Expenses
March 4, 2014 - By ENJOLI FRANCIS and RYAN SMITH via Good Morning America

A New Jersey family is in court today with the teenage daughter facing off against her parents in a battle to get them to pay for her schooling and living costs even though she's 18. Rachel Canning is suing her parents in family court in Morristown, N.J., because she says they refuse to pay for her Catholic high school education and for college in the fall.

She claims that her parents, Sean and Elizabeth Canning, kicked her out of their Lincoln Park house when she turned 18 in October, which they deny. Dad Sean Canning says she left voluntarily because she didn't want to follow their house rules concerning curfew and chores. "Private school, new car, college education; that all comes with living under our roof," he told ABC News station WABC-TV.

His lawyer, reading from a statement before the start of this afternoon's hearing, said the Cannings "are distraught that their oldest daughter feels that litigation is a better option then living together as a family."

"To be clear, my clients never abandoned nor abused their child and they have asked her to come home," Laurie Rush-Masuret said.

Rachel Canning, an honor student and athlete at Morris Catholic High School, filed the lawsuit days ago and is asking a judge to declare her dependent on her parents for support as a student, according to The Daily Record.

The newspaper said Rachel Canning was asking that her parents settle a $5,306 tuition bill and pay living and transportation costs, as well as "commit" to an existing college fund. "This is a case that is totally unusual," said Steve Mindel, a family law specialist with no connection to the case.

The Daily Record also reported that Rachel Canning had been living with her best friend's family. John Inglesino, the friend's father and a lawyer, is reportedly funding Rachel Canning's lawsuit but is not representing her. Inglesino declined to comment to ABC News. He has reportedly said he wants her parents to foot the bill for legal fees as well, which now total $13,000.

Sean Canning, a former New Jersey police chief, said the ordeal was tearing his family apart. "We'd be whole and healed as a family if she were back home," he said. "And I think she's being enabled. I think she's being steered down the wrong area and it's killing us."

Rachel Canning has not responded to ABC News’ request for comment.

Today's scheduled court hearing will mark the first time the father and daughter see each other since October 2013. "I don't know," Sean Canning said. "It's going to be very tough."

http://abcnews.go.com/US/rachel-cann...ry?id=22768908

comments

This is a travesty. A parent may be required to carry health insurance on a child until age 21, but other than that I really don't think there is any merit to this case. I hope this girl loses, it would be bad news for all parents. I really hope that this girl is stuck with $15,000 to $20,000 in legal bills, that would be a real life lesson, and one she deserves!

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A parent should not be required to do anything for their kids after they turn 18 - in the eyes of the law, they are adults. Whether or not they choose to do anything for their kids after 18 is up to them, period. This includes the insurance issue. She will lose because she is an adult now, does not matter that she moved out 2 days before her 18th birthday. The sense of entitlement these days. In my day, we were happy to get out of the house and on our own, if not to be independent, but to actually show our parents that we could do it on our own (sense of pride!).

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Not in NJ. From a previous court case in that state: "A child’s admittance and attendance at college will overcome the rebuttable presumption that a child may be emancipated at age 18." (Similarly a parent in NJ is still responsible for their child financially once s/he hits 18 if they are still in high school)

If half the allegations against her parents are true (which I don't claim to know one way or another), then she should not be forced to live with their abuse in order to maintain their financial support.

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What abuse?! They have rules on conduct, as any parents should have. And as an adult, she can legally take out a student loan to finish her degree.

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Ungrateful little child. You are not entitled to any of those things. And since the parents are willing to give her so many things (for free, no less; they aren't going to bill her for college) as long as she is willing to live with their rules, I see no merit for this. Hopefully she learns her lesson and the judge embarasses her like she deserves.

"Her home life is an "abusive unhealthy situation," the teen's attorney, Tanya Helfand, replied.

Has anyone proved or DEFINED abuse in this situation?? None of the articles or interviews have mentioned any physical abuse.

So if they're defining abuse as ''having to live in parents house and abide by parents rules''...................

THEN WE'VE ALL BEEN ABUSED!!

Thank God I don't live in her house though. I can't imagine the UTTER HORROR of living at home FOR FREE and having my parents FORCE a brand new car on me!!

OH THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by 3lilpigs

Has anyone proved or DEFINED abuse in this situation?? None of the articles or interviews have mentioned any physical abuse.

So if they're defining abuse as ''having to live in parents house and abide by parents rules''...................

THEN WE'VE ALL BEEN ABUSED!!

Thank God I don't live in her house though. I can't imagine the UTTER HORROR of living at home FOR FREE and having my parents FORCE a brand new car on me!!

OH THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From the article above :

In court filings, Canning's parents, retired Lincoln Park police Chief Sean Canning and his wife Elizabeth, said their daughter voluntarily left home because she didn't want to abide by reasonable household rules, such as being respectful, keeping a curfew, doing a few chores and ending a relationship with a boyfriend her parents say is a bad influence. They say that shortly before she turned 18, she told her parents that she would be an adult and could do whatever she wanted.

She said her parents are abusive, contributed to an eating disorder she developed and pushed her to get a basketball scholarship. They say they were supportive, helped her through the eating disorder and paid for her to go to a private school where she would not get as much playing time in basketball as she would have at a public school.

They also say she lied in her court filing and to child welfare workers who are involved in the case.

My son tried to tell me a few weeks ago that he was 18 and an adult and I could no longer tell him what to do. I told him to pack his stuff and get out. As long as we provide a roof over his head, food, clothes, school needs, a car ( with a gas allowance and insurance ) and almost all of his expenses... I CAN and WILL "tell him what to do." If he chooses not to abide ... pack up and go.

This girl is the WORST example of the "entitlement generation" and I would consider a lawsuit against the "best friends parents" for influence.

Student's lawsuit against parents for tuition support loses first round in court
Wednesday, March 5, 2014 - 10:28am

(CNN) — A high school senior's lawsuit against her mother and father for financial support and college tuition hit a hurdle Tuesday when a New Jersey judge denied the teenager's request for immediate financial assistance from the parents.

Rachel Canning, 18, alleges in her lawsuit that her parents forced her out of their Lincoln Park, New Jersey home, and that she is unable to support herself financially. The lawsuit asks that her parents pay the remaining tuition for her last semester at her private high school, pay her current living and transportation expenses, commit to paying her college tuition and pay her legal fees for the suit she filed against her parents.

Her parents say she left home because she didn't want to obey their rules.

Judge Peter Bogaard denied the request for high school tuition and current living expenses at a hearing Tuesday in New Jersey State Superior Court. Another hearing will be held in April on other issues in the suit, including whether Canning left home of her own accord, the judge said.

Canning, an honor student and cheerleader at Morris Catholic High School in Denville, says in court documents she had to leave her parents' home because of emotional and psychological mistreatment, alleging, among other things, that her mother called her "fat" and "porky" and that her father threatened to beat her. "I have been subjected to severe verbal and physical abuse by my mother and father," Canning wrote in a court certification. "I am not willingly and voluntarily leaving a reasonable situation at home to make my own decisions. I had to leave to end the abuse."

Canning left her parents' home at the end of last October. After spending two nights at her boyfriend's home, she moved into the home of her friend in a nearby town, where she has been staying ever since, according to court documents written by the parents' attorney.

Canning seeks a court's official declaration that she is unemancipated, meaning her parents would still be required to support her financially. She also is suing to reimburse her friend's parents, John and Amy Inglesino, for legal fees that they have been paying since the lawsuit was initiated, according to the suit.

Canning's parents, Sean and Elizabeth Canning, claim that allegations of abuse are completely unfounded. "We were always her support team, cheering her on or defending her whenever she had a problem," wrote Elizabeth Canning in a court certification. She claims that her daughter was never forced out of the family's home, but rather "took it upon herself to run away so that she could live her life without any parental supervision and without any rules."

Canning was suspended from school for truancy last October, according to court documents filed by her parents' attorney, Laurie Rush-Masuret. Her parents told the teen that she could no longer see her boyfriend, who was also suspended from school. Car and phone privileges were also taken away. Once she learned of the punishment, Canning cut school again and then decided to run away, her father said in court documents.

Once she left home, her parents notified Morris Catholic High School that they would no longer pay for their daughter's tuition, the documents state. "They stopped paying my high school tuition to punish the school and me, and have redirected my college fund indicating their refusal to afford me an education," Rachel Canning stated in court documents.

The situation around the teen and her family initiated an investigation by New Jersey's Division of Child Protection and Permanency (DCPP), which received allegations that Rachel was being abused. The teen wrote in court documents that her school contacted the state agency.

When DCPP staffers interviewed the teen, her parents, and her two younger sisters, they ultimately "determined that allegation of emotional abuse was unfounded," a letter from DCPP states.

Sean Canning, a retired Lincoln Park police chief and current business administrator for the town of Mount Olive, told CNN affiliate WCBS that he and his wife are "distraught."

"We're being sued by our child. I'm dumbfounded. So is my wife. So are my other daughters," he said. "Living in our house, there's very few things. There's minor chores, there's curfews. When I say curfew, it's usually after 11 o'clock at night."

Sean Canning wrote in court documents that the Inglesinos, for taking in his daughter, had "enabled the situation to an absurd level. Under the guise of good intentions, they have arrogantly placed themselves in our stead and operated under the belief that their parenting style is superior to our own."

CNN's attempts to reach John or Amy Inglesino were unsuccessful.

Stephanie Frangos Hagan, a family law attorney and New Jersey State Bar Association family law officer, said to her knowledge, a case like this is unprecedented.

Though Canning is 18 years old, New Jersey law does not consider a person to be emancipated unless that person has left "the scope of his or her parents' authority," according to Hagan.

"A parent is not obligated to contribute to the support of an emancipated child," said Hagan. "A child is emancipated when he or she is beyond the control of the parents. Is she truly beyond the scope of her parents' authority, as a result of her own voluntary acts? That's for the judge to decide."

"The argument (she) is making is that she didn't leave home voluntary. She's saying 'I was thrown out,'" Hagan said.

Neither Rachel Canning nor her parents testified at Tuesday's hearing, but it saw a reunion between the daughter and her estranged parents, the first one in over four months. While Sean Canning was seen speaking to Rachel, Elizabeth was seen briefly weeping after being seated.

The parents' attorney, Rush-Masuret, told CNN that Elizabeth Canning is too upset about the situation to even talk about it. She said the Cannings have told their daughter to come home, and she has refused. "To be clear, my clients never abandoned nor abused their child and they have asked her to come home. They simply sought to exert their own parental judgment and reasonable household rules which she is not willing to accept," Rush-Masuret said in court Tuesday.

Rachel Canning's attorney, Tanya N. Helfand, said Sean and Elizabeth Canning are being "negligent and irresponsible."

"Normal healthy parents want to help their children. They want their children to go to college. They want to help them with their difficulties," Helfand said in court.

"You may not get along wonderfully every single day with your teenager. That doesn't mean that you abandon them and you say, 'Guess what, you're on your own.'"

Judge Bogaard denied the request for the last semester of high school tuition because the school said she could continue anyway, since she is an honor student. And Rachel Canning wrote in her court certification that "The peer ministers at Morris Catholic have decided to raise funds to pay ... tuition so I don't have to leave early."

As for why he denied the request for immediate financial assistance, the judge indicated he didn't see an emergency situation, and would make further decisions at the next hearing.

The teen wrote in her court certification that she aspires to be a biomedical engineer. Her first choice for college is the University of Delaware, from which she has yet to hear back from regarding her admission decision. She said taking legal action was necessary to ensure that she is able to accomplish her future goals. "I am a very good student. I have no drug problems. I am a good athlete. I work at a job outside of school," she wrote. "My parents simply will not help me any longer...(They) should be required to provide for my support and education until I can stand on my own two feet. In order to do this, I had to take legal action."

http://www.nbc33tv.com/news/students-lawsuit-against

10 Common Mistakes Parents Today Make (Me Included)
Posted: 03/03/2014 10:47 am EST



When I became a mom, I got lots of advice on how to love my child. But not until a few years ago did someone actually point out that loving a child means wanting what's best for them long-term.

When my four daughters were young, long-term didn't resonate with me. Back then it was about survival, meeting daily needs and keeping my head above water.

Now that my kids are maturing, however, the fog is lifting. I'm no longer a pledge of parenting, but rather an indoctrinated member. The perk of this stage is that my kids want to spend time with me. We have real conversations that reveal their beautiful personalities. With everyone sleeping through the night, I'm sleeping better, too. I can think coherently and be more intentional in how I raise them.

These days, I put more thought into long-term. I think about the kind of adults I hope my children will be and work backward to ask, "What can I do today to foster that?" Being mindful of their future has changed my parenting paradigm, because what makes my children happy at age 10 or 15 is somewhat different from what will make them happy at age 25, 30, 40 and beyond.

A while back I came across some interesting articles and books that dig into what psychologists today are seeing: a rising number of 20-somethings who are depressed and don't know why. These young adults claim they had magical childhoods. Their parents are their best friends. They never experienced tragedy or anything more than normal disappointments. Yet for some reason, they're unhappy.

One reason given is that parents today are too quick to swoop in. We don't want our children to fall, so instead of letting them experience adversity, we clear the path. We remove obstacles to make their life easy. But adversity is a part of life, and only by facing it can our children build life-coping skills they'll need down the road. So while it seems like we're doing them a favor, we're really stunting their growth. We're putting short-term payoffs over long-term well-being.

2014-02-09-children2.jpg


One article mentions incoming college freshmen known to deans as "teacups" for their fragility in the face of minor problems. The question posed was this: "Could it be that by protecting our kids from unhappiness as children, we're depriving them of happiness as adults?"

Here's psychiatrist Paul Bohn's response, as paraphrased in the piece:

Many parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment -- "anything less than pleasant," as he puts it -- with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.

Why am I sharing this information? Because I think it's relevant in this age of helicopter parenting. While I find it great that today's parents are more invested in their children's lives than previous generations, our involvement can go overboard. What we may justify as "good parenting" can hurt our children later. Unless we're mindful of that, it's easy to handicap them by making their lives too easy.

As my favorite parenting philosophy goes: "Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child."

With this said, I've outlined 10 common mistakes that parents today -- me included -- often make. My intention isn't to point fingers, but to raise awareness. What may be ingrained in our culture is not always in the best interest of our kids.

Mistake #10: Worshipping our children. Many of us live in child-centered communities. We're raising our kids in child-centered homes. Our children love this, of course, because our lives revolve around them. And for the most part we don't mind either, because their happiness is our happiness. It thrills us to do for them, buy for them, and shower them with love and attention.

But I think it's important to keep in mind that our children were made to be loved, not worshipped. So when we treat them like the center of the universe, we create a false idol, turning a good into an ultimate. Rather than kid-centered homes, we should strive for God-centered homes. Our children will still be loved, only in a better way, one that promotes selflessness over selfishness.

Mistake #9: Believing our children are perfect. One thing I often hear from professionals who work with children (counselors, teachers, etc.) is that parents today don't want to hear anything negative about their kids. When concerns are raised, even concerns voiced out of love, the knee-jerk reaction is often to attack the messenger.

The truth can hurt, but when we listen with an open heart and mind we stand to benefit. We can intervene early before a situation gets out of hand. It's easier to deal with a troubled child than repair a broken adult.

As a Children's of Alabama psychiatrist recently told me when I interviewed her on teenage depression, early intervention is key because it can change the trajectory for the child's life. She said that's why she enjoys child and adolescent psychiatry -- because kids are resilient, and it's a lot easier to intervene effectively when they're young instead of years later, when the problem has gone on so long it's become incorporated into part of their identity.

Mistake #8: Living vicariously through our children. We parents take great pride in our children. When they succeed, it makes us happier than if we'd done it ourselves.

But if we're overly involved and invested in their lives, it gets hard to see where they end and we begin. When our children become extensions of us, we may see them as our second chance. Suddenly it's not about them, it's about us. This is where their happiness starts getting confused with our happiness.

Mistake #7: Wanting to be our child's BFF. When I asked a priest to name the biggest mistake he sees in parenting, he thought for a moment and then said, "Parents not being parents. Not stepping up to the plate to do hard things."

Like everyone, I want my children to love me. I want them to sing my praises and appreciate me. But if I'm doing my job right, they'll get mad and not like me sometimes. They'll roll their eyes, moan and groan, and wish they'd been born into another family.

Seeking to be our child's BFF can only lead to permissiveness and choices made out of desperation because we fear losing their approval. That's not love on our end; that's need.

Mistake #6: Engaging in competitive parenting. Every parent has a competitive streak. All it takes to stir this monster in us is another parent giving his or her child a leg up at our child's expense.

I hear these stories a lot at the junior high and high school levels, stories of broken friendships and betrayals due to one family blindsiding another family. In my opinion, the root is fear. We fear our children will get left behind. We fear that if we don't jump into the craziness, and pull out every stop to help them excel early, they'll be stuck in mediocrity the rest of their life.

I believe children need to work hard and understand that dreams don't come on a silver platter; they have to sweat and fight for them. But when we instill a "win at all costs" attitude, permitting them to throw anyone under the bus to get ahead, we lose sight of character.

Character may not seem important in adolescence, but in adulthood it's everything.

Mistake #5: Missing the wonder of childhood. The other day I found a Strawberry Shortcake sticker on my kitchen sink. It reminded me how blessed I am to share my home with little people.

One day there won't be stickers on my sink. There won't be Barbies in my bathtub, baby dolls on my bed or Mary Poppins in the DVD player. My windows will be clear of sticky handprints, and my home will be quiet because my daughters will be hanging out with friends instead of nesting at home with me.

Raising small children can be hard, monotonous work. At times it's so physically and emotionally exhausting we wish they were older to make our life easier. We're also kind of curious who they'll grow up to be. What will be their passion? Will their God-given gifts be clear? As parents we hope so, for knowing which strengths to nurture enables us to point them in the right direction.

But as we project into the future, wondering if our child's knack for art will make them a Picasso, or if their melodic voice will create a Taylor Swift, we may forget to soak up the splendor in front of us: toddlers in footed pajamas, bedtime stories, tummy tickles and elated squeals. We may forget to let our children be little and enjoy the one childhood they're given.

The pressures on kids start way too early. If we really want our kids to have a leg up, we need to protect them from these pressures. We need to let them have fun and grow at their own pace so 1) they can explore their interests without fear of failure and 2) they don't get burned out.

Childhood is a time for free play and discovery. When we rush children through it, we rob them of an innocent age they'll never pass through again.

Mistake #4: Raising the child we want, not the child we have. As parents we harbor dreams for our children. They start when we get pregnant, before the gender's even known. Secretly we hope they'll be like us, only smarter and more talented. We want to be their mentors, putting our life experiences to good use.

But the irony of parenting is that children turn our molds upside down. They come out wired in ways we never anticipated. Our job is to figure out their inherent, God-ordained bent and train them in that direction. Forcing our dreams on them won't work. Only when we see them for who they are can we impact their life powerfully.

Mistake #3: Forgetting our actions speak louder than words. Sometimes when my kids ask a question, they'll say, "Please answer in one sentence." They know me well, for I'm always trying to squeeze life lessons into teachable moments. I want to fill them with wisdom, but what I forget is how my example overshadows my words.

How I handle rejection and adversity... how I treat friends and strangers... whether I nag or build up their father... they notice these things. And the way I respond gives them permission to act the same.

If I want my children to be wonderful, I need to aim for wonderful, too. I need to be the person I hope they'll be.

Mistake #2: Judging other parents -- and their kids. No matter how much we disagree with someone's parenting style, it's not our place to judge. Nobody in this world is "all good" or "all bad"; we're all a mix of both, a community of sinners struggling with different demons.

Personally, I tend to cut other parents more slack when I'm going through hard spells. When my child is testing me, I'm compassionate to parents in the same boat. When my life is overwhelming, I'm forgiving of others who slip up and let things fall through the cracks.

We never know what someone's going through or when we'll need mercy ourselves. And while we can't control judgmental thoughts, we can cut them short by seeking to understand the person instead of jumping to conclusions.

Mistake #1: Underestimating CHARACTER. If there's one thing I hope to get right in my children, it's their CORE. Character, moral fiber, an inner compass... these things lay the foundation for a happy, healthy future. They matter more than any report card or trophy ever will.

None of us can force character on our kids, and at age 10 or 15 character won't mean much. Children care about short-term gratification, but we, as parents, know better. We know that what will matter at 25, 30 and 40 is not how far they once threw the football, or whether they made cheerleader, but how they treat others and what they think of themselves. If we want them to build character, confidence, strength and resilience, we need to let them face adversity and experience the pride that follows when they come out stronger on the other side.

It's hard to see our children fall, but sometimes we have to. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves whether intervening is in their best interest. There are a million ways to love a child, but in our quest to make them happy, let us stay mindful that sometimes it takes short-term pain to earn long-term gain.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-k...b_4753451.html

Everything You Need to Know About the Girl Who Sued Her Parents for Tuition
by Jenna Mullins Wed., Mar. 5, 2014 4:03 PM PST

Rachel Canning, an 18-year-old from New Jersey, has sued her parents, saying they need to pay for her private-school tuition, her college tuition and her living expenses after she claims they threw her out of the house. Her parents say they did not throw her out of the house and they shouldn't have to pay for any of that.

You probably have a lot of questions about this. Like: "What?" and "Why? and "What?" again. Calm down, guys. We're here to catch you up on his situation out of Jersey.

Here's everything you need to know about this:

Rachel's Side

In her court documents, Rachel claims she was thrown out of the house and cut off financially after her 18th birthday last November, calling it abandonment. "My parents have rationalized their actions by blaming me for not following their rules," Rachel stated in the docs. "They stopped paying my high school tuition to punish the school and me and have redirected my college fund, indicating their refusal to afford me an education as a punishment."

She also claims that after she accused her parents of abuse, her school told her not to go home and they then contacted the state child protection agency. However, the officer found nothing wrong after visiting the home for several hours.

Rachel's father, Sean Canning, who is a retired police chief, said that the investigation was discontinued because child services found Rachel to be "spoiled."

Rachel is not seeking emancipation from her parents, because she claims she cannot support herself.

According to her Facebook, Rachel is working at TGIFriday's, and according to legal papers she's been accepted to a number of colleges, some coming with scholarships.

The Parents' Side

Sean Canning said that Rachel voluntarily left their home in October after refusing to abide by the house rules. "Living in our house, there's very few rules," Rachel's dad Sean told New York's CBS 2. "There's minor chores. There's curfews. When I say curfew, it's usually after 11 o'clock at night."

Rachel's parents also say that she was an "incredibly rebellious teen" who ran away from home a lot and often got in trouble at school, twice suspended for bullying her sister, according to the Daily Record. Plus, she refused to end her relationship with her boyfriend, who they felt was a bad influence on her, so they gave her an ultimatum: Dump him or get out. "We're heartbroken, but what do you do when a child says, ‘I don't want your rules but I want everything under the sun and you to pay for it'?" Sean said, adding that he and his wife are "distraught" and "dumbfounded" over this lawsuit. He also insists Rachel's college fund was not been withdrawn or re-allocated as she alleged in her lawsuit.

"We'd be whole and healed as a family if she were back home," he told ABC News. "And I think she's being enabled. I think she's being steered down the wrong area and it's killing us."

The Ruling

On Wednesday, Rachel and her parents went to family court and met with a judge, who shot Rachel's request down. Her parents will not have to pay her high school tuition, or give her a monthly allowance or provide any additional financial support. "Do we want to establish a precedent where parents are living in constant fear of establishing basic rules of the house?" Judge Bogaard said in the hearing. "If they set a rule a child doesn't like, the child can move out, move in with another family, seek child support, cars, cell phone, and a few hundred grand to go to college? Are we going to open the gates for 12-year-olds to sue for an Xbox? For 13-year-olds to sue for an iPhone?"

Next up is the discussion on whether her parents will have to pay her college fees, but the judge delayed that ruling until April 22.

And that's the story of a teenager suing her parents, coming soon to Lifetime. The part of Rachel will be played be Erika Christensen, because look at the photo of her. Twinsies, right?



http://www.eonline.com/news/517995/e...ain-paid-links

5 Reasons Modern-Day Parenting Is in Crisis, According to a British Nanny
Posted: 07/02/2014 4:47 pm EDT

I generally am quite an optimistic person. I tend to believe that everything will work out for the best unless the evidence is overwhelmingly to the contrary, and anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not prone to drama. That's why when I say that modern parenting is in serious trouble -- crisis, even -- I hope you'll listen, and listen carefully. I've worked with children and their parents across two continents and two decades, and what I've seen in recent years alarms me. Here are the greatest problems, as I see them:

1. A fear of our children.
I have what I think of as "the sippy cup test," wherein I will observe a parent getting her toddler a cup of milk in the morning. If the child says, "I want the pink sippy cup, not the blue!" yet the mum has already poured the milk into the blue sippy cup, I watch carefully to see how the parent reacts. More often than not, the mum's face whitens and she rushes to get the preferred sippy cup before the child has a tantrum. Fail! What are you afraid of, mum? Who is in charge here? Let her have a tantrum, and remove yourself so you don't have to hear it. But for goodness' sake, don't make extra work for yourself just to please her -- and even more importantly, think about the lesson it teaches if you give her what she wants because she's thrown a fit.

2. A lowered bar.
When children misbehave, whether it's by way of public outburst or private surliness, parents are apt to shrug their shoulders as if to say, "That's just the way it is with kids." I assure you, it doesn't have to be. Children are capable of much more than parents typically expect from them, whether it's in the form of proper manners, respect for elders, chores, generosity or self-control. You don't think a child can sit through dinner at a restaurant? Rubbish. You don't think a child can clear the table without being asked? Rubbish again! The only reason they don't behave is because you haven't shown them how and you haven't expected it! It's that simple. Raise the bar and your child shall rise to the occasion.

3. We've lost the village.
It used to be that bus drivers, teachers, shopkeepers and other parents had carte blanche to correct an unruly child. They would act as the mum and dad's eyes and ears when their children were out of sight, and everyone worked towards the same shared interest: raising proper boys and girls. This village was one of support. Now, when someone who is not the child's parent dares to correct him, the mum and dad get upset. They want their child to appear perfect, and so they often don't accept teachers' and others' reports that he is not. They'll storm in and have a go at a teacher rather than discipline their child for acting out in class. They feel the need to project a perfect picture to the world and unfortunately, their insecurity is reinforced because many parents do judge one another. If a child is having a tantrum, all eyes turn on the mum disapprovingly. Instead she should be supported, because chances are the tantrum occurred because she's not giving in to one of her child's demands. Those observers should instead be saying, "Hey, good work -- I know setting limits is hard."

4. A reliance on shortcuts.
I think it's wonderful that parents have all sorts of electronics to help them through airline flights and long waits at the doctor's office. It's equally fabulous that we can order our groceries online for delivery, and heat up healthy-ish food at the touch of a button on the microwave. Parents are busier than ever, and I'm all for taking the easy way when you need it. But shortcuts can be a slippery slope. When you see how wonderful it is that Caillou can entertain your child on a flight, don't be tempted to put it on when you are at a restaurant. Children must still learn patience. They must still learn to entertain themselves. They must still learn that not all food comes out steaming hot and ready in three minutes or less, and ideally they will also learn to help prepare it. Babies must learn to self-soothe instead of sitting in a vibrating chair each time they're fussy. Toddlers need to pick themselves up when they fall down instead of just raising their arms to mum and dad. Show children that shortcuts can be helpful, but that there is great satisfaction in doing things the slow way too.

5. Parents put their children's needs ahead of their own.
Naturally, parents are wired to take care of their children first, and this is a good thing for evolution! I am an advocate of adhering to a schedule that suits your child's needs, and of practices like feeding and clothing your children first. But parents today have taken it too far, completely subsuming their own needs and mental health for the sake of their children. So often I see mums get up from bed again and again to fulfill the whims of their child. Or dads drop everything to run across the zoo to get their daughter a drink because she's thirsty. There is nothing wrong with not going to your child when she wants yet another glass of water at night. There's nothing wrong with that dad at the zoo saying, "Absolutely you can have something to drink, but you must wait until we pass the next drinking fountain." There is nothing wrong with using the word "No" on occasion, nothing wrong with asking your child to entertain herself for a few minutes because mummy would like to use the toilet in private or flick through a magazine for that matter.

I fear that if we don't start to correct these five grave parenting mistakes, and soon, the children we are raising will grow up to be entitled, selfish, impatient and rude adults. It won't be their fault -- it will be ours. We never taught them any differently, we never expected any more of them. We never wanted them to feel any discomfort, and so when they inevitably do, they are woefully unprepared for it. So please, parents and caregivers from London to Los Angeles, and all over the world, ask more. Expect more. Share your struggles. Give less. And let's straighten these children out, together, and prepare them for what they need to be successful in the real world and not the sheltered one we've made for them.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-j...b_5552527.html